Long Goodbyes, and Northern Lights

Wow. My time in the North is drawing to its final close, or at least as final as this chapter of my life can be, and the storm of emotions in my gut at the moment could not be greater. Friends made, loves had, friends bid adieu, loves lost; Thunder Bay has been my own personal Ithaca (in the view of Constantine Cavafy), for it has given me the beautiful journey.
I am extremely intoxicated at the moment; the Jager Bombs, Rum and Cokes, Keiths, and Pornstars have all taken their toll tonight, and yet I am coherent, and I need to put my thoughts to the page. Over the course of the last 2 days I have said goodbye to people with whom I have shared many experiences, many of whom I shall never see again. It is a bittersweet time for me, a time to move forward, but also a time to reflect. Tonight was especially poignient. I had a very heartfelt talk with Nicky, the one person that I am shattered to leave behind, knowing that as I do so, I may very well be leaving the one person with whom I connect, my feminine carbon copy - it rips me apart, and yet, I have no real choice, it must be done. Strong upper lip time, either that or I am a fool, and I need to check myself, because I really do need to go and see about a girl...Jesus, the confusion is more than I can bear at the moment...
Anyhow, on the Kilroys, and my final Cosmic Granola show of my Lakehead tenure. They will be touring Southern Ontario in the Summer, but this is it for me as a student of this school, as a citizen of Thunder Bay. Walking into the bar, Pete, my friend, and the bassest, nods to acknowledge me. The very next song he says "This one goes out to Ludkin, because he always asks us for it," and the band belts out, as only they can, far better than the original, Neil Young's Helpless...a song so stirring and meaningful for me, especially living in the North of Ontario, as i do at the moment. It takes my breath, and I reflect on the lyrics...yes, so many of MY changes will have occured here...if I were to marry tomorrow, it would be to this song, and Cosmic would be playing it for me! What a wonderful "fare-thee-well" from the band. Meant the world to me, especially now when the weight of the words really hits home. Following the set, Cassie, Courtney and I head for home, after embracing and farewelling many friends, again, some of whom I shall not see again. Very bittersweet.
Upon leaving, however, we look up, and emotional already from the goodbyes, notice that the North itself has assented to a very dramatic farewell of its own. The sky is on fire with green flames. Bursting forth from the Lake, beyond the Sleeping Giant, Aurora Borealis fills the sky as far as we can see, and drifts across the heavens, ghostly fingers stretching North into the distance. What wonder, what beauty. There would have been no better way to say goodbye to this place, this Northern sanctuary, than this. Perfection, which no camera can capture, it exists only for us at the time, to be remembered fondly many years from this point. We drive all over the city searching for a place to view them without the light pollution. We find a spot at last, but the brilliant fire is already diminishing, its glory spent, leaving only a dull memory in its place, but it is enough. We have been graced. It has been so long since I have seen the green glory of the Aurora, but it has never been so perfect as it was tonight, a godsend, a vision, a farewell beyond all words and description. Perfect.
I will miss this place, but it shall remain with me, shaping and guiding me many years from now. It has given me the beautiful journey, I just need to take it...